what sarah said

Opposites

Sarah — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 21:48:06 +0000

I’m reading Danny Wallace’s “More Awkward Situations For Men” and also Caitlin Moran’s “How To Be A Woman” at the moment. It’s blowing my mind. They just absolutely don’t work together. I don’t recommend it. But I *do* recommend them.

The safety of talking online

Sarah — Wed, 13 Jul 2011 16:24:39 +0000

Nah, I’m not referring to chatrooms or anything like that. I’m talking about person to person. People feeling braver because they’re hidden behind a computer. “Nice” people showing their “true colours”. It’s an odd situation when people aren’t able to transfer their personality between life at their computer and life away from it. Messages suddenly become littered with digs and little attacks. When they see that they can get away with it, these attacks can become bigger and more and more personal.
I’ve been thinking about this sort of thing for a while now. I had a run in with someone on twitter a while back that’s still in my head. I’d made a comment to no-one in particular which they took as a dig at them personally. It was weird. But I suppose a sign of how used we’ve gotten to the way that people feel they can behave online and it’s what got me onto this thought process.

So here it is. Please just try to remember that you’re still talking to a person. Your words aren’t going out into the abyss and not affecting anyone because I can assure you that they will always have the potential to. Would you say these things to them face to face? Would you want people to think that that was how you behaved and how you thought it was okay to behave? If you were out and a friend started shouting at people the same words that you’ve typed out to someone on a laptop, would you not be ashamed to be in their company?

Something for a fair few people to think about.

Just be nice. People will be nice back. Respect your friends and their lives. You’ll always be rewarded.

Time to grow up

Sarah — Sun, 03 Jul 2011 15:51:57 +0000

People are vile sometimes. They are nasty and aggressive and hateful and I don’t need them in my life. I’ve had enough people be horrible to me over the years without people who claim to be friends turning against me. Negative people who just take take take and periodically hurl abuse when they feel like it. People who think being nice to someone is just pandering to them.

Apparently I’m a soft touch. I give people too many chances. They say they want to punch me, I feel bad for upsetting them. Which I didn’t even intend to do. Yeah, I AM a fucking soft touch. Wtf is wrong with me?! Someone says they want to punch me, then that means they are not a good person and there is absolutely no way I should ever let them anywhere near me, let alone become involved in my life.

So here we go. No more of this. No more letting people treat me however they want. If someone treats me badly then I’m simply going to walk away from them. I’m not a bad person and I don’t deserve to be treated like one. I am a good friend.
I’m writing it here so that I have a record of this. It’s not any sort of mantra, but it’s here to remind me – I’m taking back control of my life.

To everyone who’s treated me like shit – FUCK YOU.

Circles

Sarah — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 17:58:05 +0000

I’ve had such an eventful year. I met my boyfriend. I’ve moved house. Twice! I left London. So much has changed and yet it’s all felt so natural.
When I first started traveling to London from Cornwall to look for somewhere to live, I got a young persons railcard. I’ve used it constantly over the last 5 years and now that I’m 26 I’m no longer able to renew it. They used to come with cases, each with a different destination illustrating it. I remember that my mum had Bristol on hers. I had Oxford. I had no idea at the time that it was Oxford and thought nothing much of it at first. Eventually I gave it a proper look over and thought it looked quite nice, quite picturesque. Figured it’d be nice to go someday, maybe, amongst the long long list of places I’d like to visit. I thought no more about it.

I live with my boyfriend now, in a village relatively close to Oxford. We visited it yesterday and it’s lovely. I was looking at the pictures we took and I realised that one looked familiar. I dug out my railcard and it was the building featured on the case. My railcard is soon to expire and then I’ll be getting rid of it. It seems sweetly nice that this little coincidence has happened. My mum would probably have told it was a sign. Whatever the case, I’m glad it happened. It’s closed that chapter of my life very comfortably.

I love you buttttt…..

Sarah — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 16:55:03 +0000

So I’ve been going to rather a few more gigs than normal recently. This is excellent, I’m very happy about this. I’ve seen so many bands lately… The New Pornographers, Metric, Stornoway, Allo Darlin’, I Blame Coco, plus all the bands at Dot To Dot…. BUT. I’ve gotten to thinking about all the bands I know I’m extremely unlikely to ever see live from here on. Well, not from here on exactly. I’ve known it for a while, I just didn’t want you to think that this was a snap decision I made 20 seconds ago
But yes. For whatever reason, there are a number of bands that I adore but who I know I will never go to see live. Take Green Day for example. I love them. They’ve been one of my most adored bands since 1994. I was lucky enough to see them play in 2004 (I think) and it was one of the most amazing gigs I’ve ever been to. But I know how unlikely I am to ever see them again and this does make me feel slightly sad. And nostalgic. Sad and nostalgic. But honestly, I saw them at the Plymouth Pavilions which has a maximum capacity of 4,000. In terms of venue size, it’s hardly the largest. These days you’re far more likely to see them at the o2 (capacity 23,000) or Wembley (capacity 90,000). Sadly, I have a crippling aversion to such large scale gigs. I find it hard to feel a part of anything, and I resent having to watch the gig on a giant tv screen. I can do that at home. On a slightly smaller screen. With a cup of tea and clean and accessible facilities near by. I have nothing against people who do enjoy these larger gigs, I just find it hard to feel a part of what’s going on.

Another band I love but whom I know I shall never see is Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros. Now this one really is a shame. They make beautiful music and are a fair way from the arena gigs so all should be well. All WOULD be well if it weren’t for them having the most infuriating lead singer EVER. Every video I’ve seen on youtube, he has made me have to turn off. A more showboating, ridiculous frontman you would be hard pressed to find. He personally has made them completely unwatchable for me. I’ve stopped playing any videos of theirs at all now in order to save from ruining their music for myself. A real shame.

Also, Suede? If you don’t stop playing at places like Albert Hall then you WILL find yourselves on this list. I don’t want to do that. Don’t make me do that! I’ve never seen you and I would very much like to. As long as you play Animal Nitrate. None of that Electricity rubbish. If you’re going to go down that road then please let me know in advance so that I don’t fall over myself to buy tickets in an excited blur and then get my heart broken.

Maybe I should start looking out for more new bands to fall in love with. Or perhaps I should start looking out for Green Day playing as one of their other bands (when I missed the Foxboro Hot Tubs playing at the Garage last year, with it’s 650 capacity, I very nearly cried. LIFE IS SO UNFAIR SOMETIMES!). Either way, I’m intending to not fall off the live music scene again. (Well, I say that now…. We all know that I’ve said it before and it was hardly the case. I am still so ashamed of myself!)

Also, I want to give a nod to the bands whom I have loved and lost and so will never have the pleasure of seeing/ seeing again. Firstly, Rosie and the Goldbug. I’ve seen them a number of times, both in London and Cornwall (go home team!) and absolutely fell in love with them. Captivating live performances, glorious poppy records… What wasn’t to love! But alas, it all ended too soon. I think all the band members are off doing other projects now but I am still too deep in mourning to investigate (plus I’m quite lazy about these things sometimes).
Next up – Longpigs. Oh, how I wish they’d come somewhere near Cornwall. Whyyyyy. WHYYYYYY did they never come near to my fair homelands when I was growing up! And as soon I got became old enough to go and see them by myself BOOM. They split up. It was like they knew I was on my way….
SPACEHOG! Same deal. All I’ve ever wanted was to see In The Meantime played live. I suppose I will just have to settle for the TFI Friday version that’s on youtube. It’s hardly the same. Maybe I’ll play it on my tv and pretend that I’m seeing it in an arena. I’ll even have a hugely watered down alcoholic beverage and hold off going to the bathroom for a few hours so that I’m sufficiently uncomfortable.
I’m such a pessimist sometimes. But seriously, this arena thing? Not getting over that any time soon.

BANDS I NEVER WANTED TO SEE AND THEN RESENTED DEEPLY THE FACT THAT THEY WERE ACTUALLY GOOD.
Keane. And only Keane. I have seldom been more disgusted with myself. But it’s true. I’ll never go again though and THATS why they’re on here. I couldn’t do that to myself.

BANDS I WANTED TO SEE AND THE LIVE PERFORMANCE PUT ME OFF FOR LIFE.
Muse. For the life of me, I cannot fathom how they keep being heralded as a brilliant live act. They sounded just like their record (in my book that’s always a mark down. If I wanted that, then I’d just stay at home and listen to the album. But no, I’ve paid my money, I’ve made the effort to go all the way to the gig. I want sometimes different! Something a bit special! Something I can remember at the very least. Please!). It was boring. Dull dull dull. AND they ignored the crowd. I think there was a mumbled “cheers” at the end. What, are they the Gallagher brothers now? Except actually I don’t think they ignored their crowds quite that much? I think they did speak to them… Providing they turned up of course. Actually yes. Liam? Noel? I apologise for taking your name in vain.
But my point still stands.
It was a few years ago that I saw them, to be fair. Maybe they’ve gotten better. Whatever, I’m not going to bother to find out.

ANYWAY. I’m going to see The Gaslight Anthem next. I could hardly be more excited! And it’s at Brixton which is coooool. It’s about the biggest venue size I can take so yippee!

Oh hai!

Sarah — Wed, 05 May 2010 20:55:35 +0000

Heheh.

Oops, I forgot you again, blog x

Sarah — Wed, 05 May 2010 20:48:20 +0000

I keep forgetting to update this. Apologies! I’ve not been all that full of ideas as to what to write about lately. Call it a creative drought or whatever. I’ve also taken a break on my photography, drawing and my other writings. It does feel rather a shame, but I’d rather hold on until I feel properly inspired again, rather than produce something that I don’t like and ultimately end up putting myself off even further.

Anyway… You didn’t come here to hear all my whinges, I’m sure! So I’m going to wrap this up quick. I’ll write again when I have something I feel is worth writing about. Or when I get bored. Whichever comes first xxxx

Sarah — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 22:29:12 +0000

I’m in my room. I was sitting here, talking out loud to myself. I can’t bear silence and so I do that sometimes. I kept seeing something in the corner of my eye. I definitely wasn’t alone in here.
I’m sure it was either mum or Richard.
I started talking to them both. Then just mum. Now I’m here with tears in my eyes and I have never felt so alone in my entire life.
I really hate this.

Sarah — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 11:57:47 +0000

So this week it was the anniversary of Richard. I feel as though no one remembered but me. I hope so much that someone went to visit him. Such a wonderful kind man, and it should never have ended the way it did. Life is so terrible and cruel sometimes.

I don’t normally do posts like this, but I can’t have no one remember him, it’s just too awful. I hope so much that he’s looking after my mum.

I don’t even know what to write. He’s the man who brought me up and acted as my father, and I lost him. I just miss him so much.

New name. Woot etc

Sarah — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 07:20:23 +0000

So I’ve changed the name of this blog. I may have stolen it from a song title. Just maybe. But I thought it could work